If It Ain’t Broke ._._.

If things are going well in some area, you don’t have to change that area or doubt yourself or the relationship. Determine what is working and do more of that.

Stop Listening to Experts

These days, you can find yourself doing something kind or compassionate for your partner and wonder if you are really being “co-dependent.” Or reading a magazine article and suddenly deciding that your relationship ­doesn’t really make it according to the guidelines you are reading. You are your own relationship expert. Trust your intuition and your common sense. Don’t let outside experts (not just the ones in magazines or on television talk shows, also your well-intentioned friends, coworkers, or relatives) talk you out of something you like or into something that you know isn’t right for you.

Do Something Different

They say that the only difference between a rut and a grave is the dimensions, and some couples have gotten into pretty deep ruts. Try changing anything you do in the relationship when you have problems (keep it ethical and safe, of course). If you usually argue in the bedroom, go into the kitchen and have the same discussion by writing it out on paper to one another and passing notes. If you usually fall asleep to the evening news, go bowling one night. Break out of your usual ruts by doing something completely out of character for you. If you continue to do what you usually do, you’ll probably continue to get the usual responses and results.

Find a Different Way to Look at Things

There’s an old saying: Nothing is as dangerous as an idea when it is the only one you have. We are all prisoners of our limited points of view and we have a tendency to think our point of view is the only correct way of seeing things, especially when we are upset. So, when you are stuck or unhappy, find another way of looking at it. Think of the situation from another angle. For example, how would you be thinking of this situation if it was your child or your best friend instead of your spouse or partner?